Wear makeup to get just enough respect at work! (Parody)


Hey guys in this post I’ll be giving some advice on how to be noticed and respected by your colleagues at work! How you ask? With makeup of course! That’s the only method as a woman to get just enough appreciative looks at your office!

First, always start off by covering any skin imperfections with a high coverage foundation. You don’t want your boss to see how stressed your skin is from their micro managing ways, let’s not be unprofessional here. Have some respect for your superiors and slap on some BB cream. If you’re in an Asian country, whiter and pastier the better because having a white face is the only way to success!

Next, cover up those dark circles! You’re not a zombie from The Walking Dead trying to find your next meal. It’s understandable that you’ve been working overtime because you’re project manager keeps going back and forth about the font and thinks that the margins on your papers are off. But don’t you want your eyes to reflect how much you see your work as a privilege? Not to mention when you make that awkward eye contact with your boss, you want them to see how well you’ve covered up your wine and Doritos binge from the night before. The eyes are the windows to the soul that used to be there. Make sure to set your concealer too, or it’ll just settle into the fine lines you’ve developed over the months.

After that lets put a little bit of life into those cheeks! Try to pick a nice rosy color to balance the whiteness of your foundation. You still wanna look cute and young at work don’t you? The only way to get the attention of your male co workers is to look young and fresh. Make sure you don’t put on too much blush or you’re going to end up looking like the office clown, literally. Makeup should be natural because thats why we have makeup, to make us look more naturally beautiful. And guys really like it when we have natural makeup on because they don’t know the difference! I think that we should be taking more advice from men on makeup because they seem to know what looks good on us women.

Don’t forget the eye liner and mascara! These should be a must have in your to go makeup bag. You should already have mastered the eyeliner and mascara on the bus technique. Don’t even think about going into the office without mascara and eyeliner. These are the only products that will define your eyes and your presence at work. Your eye lining skills will make all the female coworkers jelly, you’ll be the talk of the woman’s bathroom. How great does that sound?

Lets finish off the look with the eyebrows and lipstick. Make sure you draw the arch of your brows real high because that’s the only heights you’ll go at work today. Maybe, just maybe you’ll break the glass ceiling with your on fleek brows, hahaha who am I kidding! You just keep dreaming my lady friends. Now when you pick a lipstick try to pick a natural-boldish-subtle color. If you want your opinions to be heard at meetings all you have to do is to draw attention to your lips. Even if they are not listening they can figure it out by the movement of your lips. What a great helpful tip! It’s a win-win for both.

My last tip would be is don’t wear too much makeup! All you need to do is make sure that you look presentable for people around you. But you should still wear everything listed above, just do it really well, like, make it look super natural. If you don’t look flawless you won’t be able to get the respect you might deserve. I hope this helps!

So this was supposed to be funny and light-hearted, I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it. I really don’t think like this. Hahaha also the place where I work is great and this is not a reflection of my workplace. My real beauty tip for office/work makeup is to be comfortable in what you are wearing and be confident about the face you’re going to be showing at work. I’m not saying wear drag makeup at work because you feel comfortable in it, there is always a time an place for such things 🙂 Also, if you don’t want to wear makeup, then don’t. It might be annoying to hear people asking if you’re going through some kind of crisis in your life, but DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. Don’t let others discourage your decisions about makeup because of their poor choice in starting a conversation with insensitive comments.

I hope you have a great weekend! XOXOoo

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